*originally written 12/08/23
It has been five years since I last performed in Ballethnic Dance Company's rendition of the Petipa, Tchaikovsky classic mashup. Urban Nutcracker was my first professional dance company work. I was pretty fresh out of college and had been feeling extremely grateful to be cast as the Arabian Princess. Along with that, I enjoyed the rare privilege of being coached by Dance Theatre of Harlem's first ballerina, Lydia Abarca-Mitchell. It was a time of basking, growing and challenges.
What I actually want to talk about is what this year's Urban Nutcracker has taught me. As I often emphasize, the profession of dance is a vulnerable one. While it can be enjoyable and freeing, there is also an element that cannot be ignored. It is perhaps the single most constant revelation an artist can have when it comes to their dance career. You will always have to challenge yourself to show up above circumstance that are beyond your control and those that come with the territory. As the artist, you are the only person in charge of how you show up!
Last night we opened the show and of course some weird "stage things" happened. Regardless of my costume preparation, it did not feel secure and despite never having a run-in collision, that also happened on stage. During those moments I recall the various quotes I have heard during my times at Ballethnic. A mixture of "That's show business", "You've got to push", "Be ready to work", and some other things. Regardless of what happened during act one, I did not sweat it. That can take you down a crazy spiral, you know? Instead, I embraced the beauty of "opening night possibilities" and continued to be calm and enjoy the work. As I prepared for act two I made the decision not to withdraw because my parts were smaller or because we were nearing the show's end. I tapped in and showed up as if the curtain was going up for the very first time and I was awaiting the arrival of Carlos Acosta. Man! It felt amazing. Do you know how intentional you have to be to go hard during the finale, right before bows? It made me remember something.
One day William Starrett encouraged me and the company to enjoy our time on the stage. When Mariclare Miranda was retiring from being a principal ballerina, the one thing she said was "I wish I would've enjoyed it". That also echos the words of Ballethnic co-founder Nena Gilreath. After the show she told the cast to enjoy the run and to have fun!. We were also encouraged to add our artistry because guess what, once you're off of the stage, the moments are gone. I appreciate the way dance builds me as a woman and pushes my bravery.
The more you show up for dance, the more it will show up in you!
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